Words do not leave bruises. That does not mean they leave no injury.
I came across an interesting article about the impact of verbal abuse in childhood.
The research it discusses suggests that verbal abuse may be linked with poorer mental wellbeing later in life, at a level comparable to physical abuse. When someone experiences both, the effect appears to be greater still.
I think verbal abuse is often overlooked because there is nothing obvious to point towards. No bruise. No broken bone. Sometimes not even a single dramatic incident.
It may be years of criticism, humiliation, threats, ridicule or being repeatedly told that you are stupid, useless, difficult or unwanted.
After a while, the voice no longer needs to come from another person. You may begin repeating the words to yourself.
Not every raised voice or badly chosen sentence is abuse. Parents, partners, teachers and other people sometimes lose their temper or say things they regret. Human relationships are imperfect.
But there is a difference between an occasional mistake and a repeated pattern that slowly damages someone’s confidence, safety or sense of who they are.
Accountability does not mean pretending people never get things wrong. It means recognising when harm has been caused, taking it seriously and trying to repair it.
A genuine apology may not erase what happened, but it can interrupt the silence around it. It can tell the other person: I see what I did. I am not going to blame you for being hurt. I will try to behave differently.
Some wounds are difficult to see.
They still deserve to be recognised.
Source material
We say words can hurt. But new research suggests we are not taking verbal abuse seriously enough, especially as it becomes more common than physical abuse. The post When words wound: the underestimated impact of verbal abuse appeared first on National Elf Service.
Source: Mental health – National Elf Service
