Written by Adrian Yates, psychotherapist and hypnotherapist with nearly 20 years of clinical experience.
A balanced place to begin
Meditation and mindfulness can be helpful, difficult or harmful. A useful conversation needs to make room for all three.
Meditation is often introduced as a simple way to become calmer, clearer and more grounded. For some people it can help create a little space between a thought, a feeling and the next reaction.
But becoming quieter does not guarantee calm. When outside noise reduces, anxiety, self-criticism, grief, physical tension, difficult memories or a busy mind may become more noticeable.
Sometimes this discomfort passes or becomes easier to understand. Sometimes the practice needs adapting. Sometimes it is the wrong practice for that person at that point in their life.
This page does not exist to promote meditation or warn everybody away from it. It offers a fuller picture, including the parts that are sometimes left out when meditation is sold as a simple answer.
Meditation is a practice, not a test of calmness, discipline or spiritual ability.
Struggling does not automatically mean you are failing. But feeling repeatedly worse is not something you have to endure to prove that you are trying.
Meditation and mindfulness are related, but not identical
Meditation usually means setting aside time for a more formal practice. You may focus on breathing, sound, movement, an image, a repeated phrase, physical sensations or the movement of thoughts.
Mindfulness is broader. It means paying attention to what is happening now, with enough space to notice it before immediately reacting.
Mindfulness can happen during meditation, but it can also happen while walking, drinking tea, washing up, listening to somebody, writing or noticing the urge to react.
A person can practise mindfulness without sitting silently or closing their eyes.
The helpful, the difficult and the harmful
These experiences can overlap, and the line between them is not always obvious. The effect on the person is more important than whether the experience looks calm or spiritual from the outside.
The helpful
Some people feel steadier, less reactive or more able to notice thoughts without immediately following them.
Practice may help with stress, concentration, perspective or recognising feelings before they become actions.
The difficult
A busy mind, restlessness, boredom, frustration, grief, self-criticism or uncomfortable memories may become more noticeable.
These experiences can be unpleasant without necessarily causing lasting harm. They still deserve to be taken seriously.
The harmful
Practice may sometimes contribute to panic, persistent sleep disruption, obsessive thought loops, traumatic re-experiencing, or feeling numb, detached or unreal.
If the effect continues, interferes with everyday functioning or leaves you feeling less able to cope, stopping may be the wiser response.
Difficulty is not always growth
Some meditation traditions encourage people to remain with discomfort. That may be useful in certain situations, but the idea can also be misused.
Staying with mild restlessness is different from becoming panicked, detached, unable to sleep or unable to function properly afterwards.
An unpleasant experience is not automatically harmful. But harm should not be renamed as progress simply because it happened during meditation.
You are allowed to question the practice, the teacher, the method and the idea that pushing through is always best.
Choose the guide that fits what you need
These pages explore different parts of the subject in more depth. You do not need to read them in order.
The Good Side of Meditation
Explore why meditation and mindfulness can help some people feel calmer, more aware and less controlled by immediate reactions.
Read About the Helpful SideWhy Meditation Can Feel Difficult
Understand the busy mind, frustration, emotional discomfort and self-criticism that can appear when distraction reduces.
Explore Difficult ExperiencesWhen Meditation May Be Harmful
Look more closely at reactions that go beyond ordinary discomfort and may indicate that the practice needs to change or stop.
Read About Possible HarmSafer Ways to Begin Meditation
Explore shorter, more flexible practices that preserve choice and do not depend on long periods of stillness or closed eyes.
Explore Gentler Starting PointsGuided Meditation vs Silent Meditation
Consider how another person’s voice, imagery and pace may shape the experience, and why silence may help one person but expose another.
Compare Guided and Silent PracticeMeditation, Trauma and Dissociation
Explore how inward attention, stillness, breathing practices and closed eyes may interact with traumatic memories, learned threat responses and dissociation.
Read About Trauma and DissociationAlternatives to Meditation
Find other ways to pause, reflect and reconnect, including movement, writing, music, creativity, nature and ordinary activity.
Explore Alternatives to MeditationWhen turning inward is not neutral
Meditation often directs attention towards breathing, physical sensations, emotion and internal experience. For some people this feels calming. For others it can feel exposing or trapping.
Someone affected by trauma may experience an intense learned threat response when they close their eyes, become still or notice certain sensations. A person who experiences dissociation may feel more distant, unreal or disconnected rather than more present.
People who become caught in obsessive thinking may turn meditation into another form of monitoring, checking or trying to control thoughts.
None of this means that everybody with trauma, anxiety or obsessive thinking must avoid meditation. It means the practice may need to be chosen and adapted around the person rather than asking the person to fit the practice.
A more flexible way to begin
A starting practice does not need to involve twenty minutes of silence. Small changes can help you find out how you actually respond.
Keep your eyes open
Looking gently at the room, a plant, a wall or the view outside can help you remain connected to the present environment.
Begin briefly
One or two minutes may tell you more than forcing yourself through a long session that leaves you distressed.
Use an outside focus
Sounds, colours, an object in the room or the feeling of your feet against the ground may suit you better than focusing closely on breathing.
Allow movement
Walking, stretching or gently moving your hands can be a valid practice. Stillness is not the only way to pay attention.
Mindfulness without sitting still
Mindfulness can be part of ordinary life.
You might notice the first sip of a drink, the feeling of water while washing your hands, the sounds during a walk, or the moment your shoulders tighten during a difficult conversation.
The aim is not to remain calmly present every second. That would become another impossible standard.
Sometimes mindfulness is simply noticing, “I am becoming defensive,” or, “I need a moment before I answer.”
One honest pause can be enough to change what happens next.
Notice what happens afterwards
The effect of meditation is not measured only by what happens while you are sitting. Pay attention to how you feel later that day and over the following night.
Do I feel more present, or more distant from myself and the room around me?
Can I return to ordinary tasks, conversations and decisions afterwards?
Does the practice settle over time, or does anxiety and repetitive thinking continue to build?
Do I still feel free to stop, change the method or decide that this is not right for me?
When to stop and seek support
Stop the practice if you become severely panicked, disorientated, unable to sleep, detached from yourself, detached from reality, or less able to manage ordinary life.
Open your eyes, move, reconnect with the room and do something familiar and practical. Do not assume that continuing is the only way through.
If the reaction is severe, continues after the practice or leaves you feeling unsafe, seek suitable professional or urgent support.
Meditation should support your ability to live your life. It should not become another private ordeal you feel obliged to survive.
A final thought
Meditation can be useful, but it is not a universal answer.
It can help one person feel more connected and leave another feeling trapped inside their own mind. The same person may also respond differently at different points in life.
The aim is not to become somebody who meditates. It is to find ways of becoming more honest, present and connected to your life.
Sometimes meditation helps with that. Sometimes another path is wiser.
Between Paths is a reflective and educational resource. It is not a diagnosis or a replacement for medical care, therapy or professional support. If meditation leaves you feeling unsafe or at risk of harming yourself or somebody else, stop the practice and visit the Crisis Resources page for urgent support options.
